Economic Downturn and Stimulus Plan

How many sales pitches and advertisements have you seen that include phrases like "during these tough economic times...." They even lead off with it.

What really happened? The banks got greedy and loaned money to just about anyone.

In the shred-happy 80's, Shrapnel Records gave a record contract to just about anyone. Well, anyone spending the majority of their time past the 12th fret. There's no money here. How many times did you hear "he's sicker than Yngwie!!!" before you realized that all these guys sound the same?

In the name of total transparency, I'm parlaying this guitar into my own economic stimulus plan. Without the requisite skills to go out and play paying gigs, here is an asset doing nothing for me. I admit it. I'm operating on a shoestring budget.

Being such a new blog site, the Google AdSense isn't serving up relevant ads, enticing you to click on them. I'm in no hurry for Google to serve up guitar-related ads. An ad offering to show (or sell) you "Shania Twain bikini photos" was in the sidebar earlier today, just begging you to click. I bet you were tempted.

There Ain't No Money Past The 5th Fret

Just a reminder here guys and gals. You can click on the photos to see larger versions.

The Music Store Chronicles

I used to work in a music store many years ago.

"What do you do?"

"I work at a music store."

"Cool! You get to sit around and play guitar all day!"

Uh... no. It's a job. It's a real job with real bosses, W2's, an employee manual, and dealing with moro the general public.

The reality is, the last thing I wanted to see, hear, feel, or touch when I got home from work was a guitar.

I got to see a good cross-section of the people who call themselves guitar players. Their skill range varied. It was always gratifying to see a young boy or girl get their first guitar, especially if they had saved up their money for a long time.

The Seven Levels

A photography equipment site breaks down the seven levels of photographer. The seven levels are applicable to guitar players as well. I saw my share of guys who got excited discussing the subtle nuances of flame vs. quilt vs. birdseye maple. Mention Brazilian rosewood and suddenly you remember why the boys in middle school liked to put their backpacks in their laps... especially if the teacher was like the one described in that one Van Halen song. I brought my pencil. Gimme something to write on!

Now if these guys spent nearly as much time practicing as they do drooling on their keyboards while looking at the Paul Reed Smith Guitars website, they might actually improve their guitar playing skills.

The best guitar players hardly hung out and noodled away. They were so busy between gigs and their day jobs, they barely had time to run in, say hello and buy the 10 sets of strings they'll eat through in 2 weeks.

Bud Light should salute these real men of genius. We salute you, talentless middle-aged male PRS Santana Model guitar owner!

The New Guitar Smell

Another subset of the music store customer is the guy who neurotically keeps his gear in brand-new condition. Skill level runs the entire gamut. Neuroses increases proportionate to price of gear.

Burst Boy

There was a customer I'll call "Burst Boy." He had enough Gibson Custom Shop Les Pauls to be featured in 2 years worth of calendar photos. All of them were kept in pristine condition.

For the money he spent on these vintage reissues, he could have several authentic vintage Gibsons! I guess he just liked the fresh-off-the-assembly-line look. Maybe the 40 year old virgin would rather not mess with other 40 year old versions.

For Sale - 1987 Gibson Les Paul Standard

It's time for this Gibson guitar to find a new home. I still like to pick up a guitar once in a while, but can't justify the overhead of owning such an instrument for the rare moments I do get to sit down and play poor approximations of Gary Rossington licks.

My life has changed dramatically since I last declared "I'll never sell this guitar." I've said that about 5 times over with various instruments. In the past, a liquidation resulted from coming to a crossroads where cashflow constipation and gear lust meet. This time around, it's, uh, a long story. The short version is, I have another expensive hobby I'm enjoying immensely.

Why did I decide to make a Blogger site about this guitar? Think of the eBay or craigslist ad as the "Quick Start Guide" that comes with consumer electronics. This Blogger site is the actual manual. The main difference is, you'll read this manual, unlike the manual for your newest gadget.

As I update these pages, you'll see the story behind this guitar and get to know the current owner a little better. Thankfully, I am not including audio clips. You'd much rather see me showing off my photography skills rather than my lack of guitar playing skills.