The Music Store Chronicles

I used to work in a music store many years ago.

"What do you do?"

"I work at a music store."

"Cool! You get to sit around and play guitar all day!"

Uh... no. It's a job. It's a real job with real bosses, W2's, an employee manual, and dealing with moro the general public.

The reality is, the last thing I wanted to see, hear, feel, or touch when I got home from work was a guitar.

I got to see a good cross-section of the people who call themselves guitar players. Their skill range varied. It was always gratifying to see a young boy or girl get their first guitar, especially if they had saved up their money for a long time.

The Seven Levels

A photography equipment site breaks down the seven levels of photographer. The seven levels are applicable to guitar players as well. I saw my share of guys who got excited discussing the subtle nuances of flame vs. quilt vs. birdseye maple. Mention Brazilian rosewood and suddenly you remember why the boys in middle school liked to put their backpacks in their laps... especially if the teacher was like the one described in that one Van Halen song. I brought my pencil. Gimme something to write on!

Now if these guys spent nearly as much time practicing as they do drooling on their keyboards while looking at the Paul Reed Smith Guitars website, they might actually improve their guitar playing skills.

The best guitar players hardly hung out and noodled away. They were so busy between gigs and their day jobs, they barely had time to run in, say hello and buy the 10 sets of strings they'll eat through in 2 weeks.

Bud Light should salute these real men of genius. We salute you, talentless middle-aged male PRS Santana Model guitar owner!

The New Guitar Smell

Another subset of the music store customer is the guy who neurotically keeps his gear in brand-new condition. Skill level runs the entire gamut. Neuroses increases proportionate to price of gear.

Burst Boy

There was a customer I'll call "Burst Boy." He had enough Gibson Custom Shop Les Pauls to be featured in 2 years worth of calendar photos. All of them were kept in pristine condition.

For the money he spent on these vintage reissues, he could have several authentic vintage Gibsons! I guess he just liked the fresh-off-the-assembly-line look. Maybe the 40 year old virgin would rather not mess with other 40 year old versions.